I have been irritated with myself for not working more over the holidays. I was disappointed that I did not write more and that I slept, ate and watched movies most of the time. Today is the first official working day of the New Year and I have started by reading and writing. I feel pressure on my shoulders as I enter January and similar to last year I feel that there is too much to do and not sure where to start. Do you know this feeling?
I am eager to get back into a routine but also weary of all the work that looks at me and needs to be tackled today. Why is it that we procrastinate until we have too much to do? Why can we not work in moderation? I wish I had an answer to these questions. I assume that the year end calls for a break and especially since no one is productive I felt entitled to being slack as well. I know though that the only one who will suffer is myself because my bad conscience increases.
I thought I would give myself some time to think and hoped the creative juices would flow again after the holidays but I am not sure I am there yet. I have a strong sense that something needs to emerge in 2016, that I need to let out an inner flame and that I have not been running on full steam yet even though I had been productive and busy, I feel like I did not give my best at all times. I feel like I have been cheating myself but I am not sure why I feel this way.
Like in the past, I m waiting for a miracle while I know that the miracle is inside me.
I could be more effective and reach my goals if I just let go of my fears and went ahead with passion. The thing is that this is the hard part about being your own boss. It’s the daily challenge to show up and be your best. When you are employed you can give 70% and it is still acceptable. When you are self-employed you want to give at least 95% or more. You need to be fresh, energetic, focused and emotionally stable. You need to create and find the atmosphere for creativity whether you are in your office or in a dodgy hotel room. You need to be up for networking with prospects and clients even if you are drained and tired.
And that’s why you need a break once in a while. A real break where you can just be yourself and relax. I thought I would read more during the holidays and I can tell I am really eager to tackle a few books I bought last year. I am also ready to finish a manuscript I have been dragging along for the last two years. So that’s great news.
6 January marks the last day of the holiday season in Germany and Switzerland. In some parts of Europe it is the most important day of the holiday season. For us it means that the next day we really need to throw out the Christmas tree and all the decorations. It’s a nice ritual and the cleaning up exercise means that I can get back into full steam.
What are you struggling with and how did you get out of your holiday blues? Let me know in the comments.